In Hills Like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway, a man and a woman are sitting at a bar while they wait for the train. They are discussing something, without really saying what they are discussing. The man feels one way about a certain operation, and it seems as though the woman really feels the opposite. He seems to be pushing her a bit, and she questions the things that he is saying. As if whatever it is they are discussing would really change anything. He says it won’t and that things will go back to how they were “before”.
I think the woman may have stayed with the man. Whatever procedure they were discussing, he wanted to do but she was unsure of whether she wanted to go through with it or not. I think she may have stayed with him because he kept telling her that it was ultimately up to her what was done, and that she didn’t do it if she didn’t have to. He tells her he loves her anyway, no matter what. Often, we as humans, only need to hear that before we make our decisions. We just want acceptance from the person we love and to know that they have our back regardless of the decision they are about to make. I have gone through a few bad break ups, and lost quite a few friends along the way, but one sticks in my mind the most. I don’t know if I really “walked away” or if we just grew apart somewhat naturally. Some might say I have, after explaining the situation, or may say that I didn’t try hard enough to keep a friend. I had a best friend that I considered more of a sister. I was friends with her for some time before I met her brother, who became my boyfriend. Him and I were together for a few years and it was a rocky relationship from the start. My friend was always on my side, no matter what, despite him being her brother. Her loyalties always were with me, and that was for her own reasons really. He was in and out of jail a good portion of his teenage and adult life and for the most part that’s why she kept her distance. She and I did everything together, were together every day and then some. After a few years, she decided she needed to get away from her family and her and her boyfriend moved to another state. She really wasn’t that far, and I visited as often as I could, both by myself and with her brother. Another couple of years went by and she moved a few more times, each time being a little farther than the last. We still always kept in touch but over time it became harder to travel more due to the distance. Finally, her brother and I broke up for good reasons. The relationship wasn’t a good one and she was still always on my side. After the break up, her and I started to drift a little, as I started dating someone knew after some time, and I began to keep my distance. We would argue more, I felt as though she was judging me, often for the same things that she had once done. I felt like she questioned my new relationship and I began to withdraw myself more from her. I was tired of always feeling as though I was being “bitched” at. We would argue mostly over text message, which it seems that’s how everyone loves to communicate these days. Often, emotion is lost within texts. She was also like her brother in the sense that when they were mad, they would say hurtful things. It was their go-to. We stopped talking for quite some time, I just flat out stopped answering her. I didn’t talk to her for a good 6 months or more. One day I decided to answer one of her random messages and we began to try to work on our relationship. She eventually fell into the same pattern of always questioning me, and I know at the end of the day it was because she cared for me and wanted the best for me. Our relationship became more of an on and off friendship. She moved back to the area and we tried again to be friends. She was so demanding of my time and claimed that I didn’t care because I didn’t come around as often. Truth is, my life is completely different now. My work schedule is different, my other relationships are different. I gained new friends and I would try to involve her, but she was never very accepting of the people I was with. We kept at it, trying to be friends. Just before Christmas, I found out I was expecting my first child and was really excited to tell her about it. She was the first one I told. And she was happy for me! We hung out a few times after that and then ultimately it came down to the fact that I STILL wasn’t making enough time for her. In my eyes, that wasn’t fair, though, because I had so many other responsibilities than we had when we were just out of high school. We ended up back in one of our same old arguments, and she was again telling me I had changed, but changing isn’t a bad thing.. its only seen as bad to the people who don’t want you to evolve into the person you are meant to become. We just decided on parting ways, ultimately realizing that we just don’t know each other the way we used to, and that we may never be able to get that back. I never imagined a life where I would be raising a child without my best friend, but I guess things happen. Maybe one day we can communicate again and see where life takes us.
3 Comments
David
2/18/2018 11:13:59 am
Hello Ashlee,
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Sabatino
2/20/2018 09:21:31 am
Thanks for sharing this post. Your argumentative response is thoughtful and explores the complexity of the reading.
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2/20/2018 02:53:23 pm
Hi Sabatino,
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